


Beginner's Guide to Human Incest

by TheNarator



Series: Homestuck Rarepairs [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, PWP, Porn, Sex Tapes, Twincest, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 23:33:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNarator/pseuds/TheNarator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Karkat meets Jake, walking copy of his matesprit John, the only thing on his mind is his twincest kink. When Dirk offers to indulge him, how can he say no?</p><p>Dirk, of course, has a plan of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beginner's Guide to Human Incest

The first time Karkat Vantas laid eyes on Jake English he had to look immediately at the floor. He wanted to look back and forth between John and Jake like a gormless idiot for several minutes first, but his thinkpan was a little too fast for his own good, and began flooding with lewd and creatively inappropriate scenarios so quickly that it was either look at the floor or announce his perversions to the entire block by giving a perfect stranger concupiscent-couch-eyes.

A perfect stranger that just happened to be the perfect twin of his matesprit.

A little tanner perhaps, broader in the shoulder by some minuscule degree, and with deep green eyes instead of John's endless blue, but otherwise identical. A sweep and a half's filthy fantasies of John making out with his ecto-sister shriveled away to nothing at the idea that he could literally watch John fuck himself.

Karkat quickly had to excuse himself from the block.

It didn't take long for Jake's matesprit to corner him.

"So you're a man of specific taste," Dirk began two nights later. He had cornered Karkat in the communal ablution block, and seemed to be far more comfortable in his near-nakedness than the troll. "I get that. You know what you want, and I can respect that."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Karkat lied. "Whatever disgusting scenario your frail human thinkpan has coughed up with a mucus-laden, wheezing splutter, I would rather be spared the graphic details and leave with my imagination un-sullied."

"I'm not the one with the dirty mind here," Dirk chuckled slyly. "Well, I am, but I'm not the only one. I saw you looking at Jake, and I'm not blind either. He and John should come as a set, with matching playboy bunny outfits and everything."

Karkat utterly failed to control the blush that sprang to his cheeks at that image. Dave had showed him pictures.

"Look, whatever you think, I'm not going to make a move on your matesprit," Karkat insisted, trying to sound as sincere as possible. "I know better than to go after someone who's already attached, at least for the quadrants they already have filled. And I'm not a cheater, I would never do that to John. What do you even take me for, anyway?"

"Slow down there bronco," Dirk grinned, holding up his hands, "this wasn't supposed to be a 'back off' talk. In fact it was supposed to be quite the opposite."

Karkat blinked at him.

"What. No seriously. Just. What? You  _want_  me to go after Jake? I reiterate puny, delusional human:  _what the fuck do you take me for_?!"

"I take you for someone who likes the idea of my boyfriend and his licking cake batter off each other's dicks," Dirk stated bluntly.

Karkat was sure that if he blushed any harder he'd burst something.

Dirk's grin got bigger. "Hit a nerve with that one, did I? So is it just that they look alike? A thing for twins? Or is it the idea of having two of John that gets you going?"

Karkat swallowed. There was no way he was going to talk to Dirk about this, not someone he barely even knew, standing naked from the waist up in a public place where anyone could walk in.

"It's . . . the connection," he admitted quietly. "It's knowing that they're . . . connected, in some way. That there's a bond between them that you can see. That it's obvious. It's just, hard to explain-"

"Not to a human," Dirk cut him off placidly. "It's called incest; sexual relations involving two or more people who are related. Highly taboo, and yet who knows you better? Very kinky. I'm impressed."

"I'm glad to have been a source of amusement," Karkat snapped, anger boiling up at Dirk's nonchalance. "Now that you've had a good long look at the contents of my spank bank, I'll be going back to my respite block to curl into a ball and die of shame."

He shoved his way past the human, intent on getting away before he further embarrassed himself.

"Don't you wanna see it live-action before you succumb to that terminal blush of yours?" Dirk called after him.

Karkat stopped. He really shouldn't turn back.

He turned back.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked cautiously.

Dirk's grin was fast approaching manic.

"You heard me," he drawled, "do you wanna make it happen? Front row seats to the greatest porno ever conceived. 'Windicuffs: John and Jake Get Their Twincest On,' now in IMAX 3D."

"What the fuck are you on about Strider!" Karkat demanded, with a sinking feeling that he already knew.

"Do you wanna watch them fuck?"

"How the ever pitying fuck would that even by possible!?" Karkat hissed through gritted teeth.

"I talked to Jake," Dirk informed him, completely calm in the face of Karkat's rage. "He's game if you are. Now all we have to do is talk to John and we'll be all set."

"I am not 'game' as you so ridiculously put it!" Karkat exploded, but Dirk was already brushing past him on his way to the door.

Before exiting Dirk threw one last smug look over his shoulder at the angry troll.

"Oh yeah, you're game."

And that was how Karkat found himself sitting in John's respite block, watching John and Jake kiss tentatively on John's large human bed while Dirk stood behind his chair with a video camera, recording every second.

"Relax," said Jake quietly against John's mouth, and John shivered. Jake's ridiculous accent was slipping, Karkat noticed, and his normally wide, bright eyes had taken on a smokey, sultry quality. For the first few minutes he had glanced repeatedly at Dirk, but some unspoken understanding seemed to have been reached, because now his focus was solely on John.

"You've never done this before have you?" Jake asked gently, petting John's hair in a way that made Karkat simultaneously want to smack his hand away and chirp low in his throat.

"Well no duh, I just met you," John retorted, rolling his eyes.

"I don't mean the twincest thing," Jake corrected. "This in general."

"I've had sex before!" John snapped. "I have a boyfriend, and I'm almost seventeen!"

"With a troll," Jake corrected, "not with another boy. Another human."

John's indignant rage deflated, and he nodded shyly.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to," Jake said firmly, making sure to look John straight in the eye.

He turned to Dirk and Karkat.

"Anyone in this room can say 'stop' at any time, and we call the whole thing off," Jake decreed. Karkat glanced up at Dirk just in time to see him nod his understanding. Looking quickly back at Jake and John, who were both watching him now, Karkat also nodded.

John held his matesprit's gaze a moment longer, then turned back to Jake and nodded.

"Excellent!" said Jake brightly.

He kissed John again. Both of them were still fully dressed except for their bare feet and discarded glasses, kneeling on the bed facing each other. Another difference between them became apparent now; while they were almost equally tall, most of John's height seemed to be in his legs, and on his knees Jake towered a good two or three inches over him. Their previous kisses had been fleeting and close-mouthed, but now Jake was putting more force into it, bearing down on his double, pressing their lips tightly together. With one hand he continued to pet John's hair, but the fingers of the other one found their way under John's chin, tilting his face upward to receive the kiss.

Karkat squirmed, watching as that hand then moved to cup John's jaw, and the other one slid carefully down his torso. Cautiously it slipped beneath John's shirt, making him inhale sharply in surprise and giving Jake the opportunity to press his tongue past John's parted lips. He didn't ask for more than John would give, teasing responses out of him, but it was extremely clear who was in charge.

His hand rubbed soothing circles beneath John's shirt, and after a minute he let out a soft, breathless little sound against Jake's mouth between kisses.

Jake smiled.

"See," he said, quiet enough to sound intimate but loud enough for Karkat to hear him, "it's okay. Not scary at all."

John gave a short little nod, some of the tension bleeding out of him. This time he brought his lips to Jake's, making the other boy smile against his mouth.

The circles of Jake's hand were getting wider, pushing the hem of John's shirt higher and higher. Before long his fingers were on John's chest, tracing the defined pectoral muscles. His thumb brushed a nipple, and John shuddered.

"Let's get this off then, shall we?" Jake asked, gripping the hem of John's shirt. Without waiting for an answer he tugged, lifting it easily over the other boy's head and tossing it aside.

"You too," John insisted, and Jake nodded, discarding his jacket and letting John help pull his t-shirt off as well.

His abdominal muscles were a bit more well-defined than John's, and John stared at them for a moment before Jake tilted his head up again with those fingers under his chin and they resumed kissing. Clearly not wanting to be left out, John's hands began to wander the expanse of Jake's chest and abdomen. Jake, however, grabbed John's wrists and guided them instead to his hips, letting John's fingers caress his sides.

"Like that," Jake encouraged between kisses as John massaged gently, "come on, yeah, just like that."

One of Jake's hands curved around John's back, pulling him a bit closer. The other one came up to his chest, fingers starting to toy with a nipple. He rubbed and pinched gently, pulling it out slightly as though to display it to their audience. John's breath was getting fast and shallow but Jake wasn't letting up on the kiss, if anything pressing deeper, harder, insistently exploring John's mouth and not giving an inch, coaxing more and more breathless noises out of his bedmate.

At long last, when Karkat wasn't sure he could take any more, John pulled away, panting. Jake didn't let this deter him though, just moved lower to mouth and suckle at John's neck, nipping at his jawline, nosing at the sensitive juncture of neck and shoulder.

Without something obstructing his mouth John was getting louder now, and was just starting to make something that sounded like a noise of protest when suddenly Jake was pushing him down onto the bed, pressing his head into the pillow and straddling his hips.

"Relax," he instructed when John started to sit up. "I've got a lot more experience than you. Let me do this for you."

This seemed to placate John, and as Karkat watched he sank back onto the pillow and allowed the other boy to take control.

Jake grinned, obviously pleased, and kissed John again, hard this time, forcing John's lips apart and plundering his mouth, refusing to be denied. John was panting again by the time Jake pulled back, sitting up to look down at John with a benevolent expression.

"I'd say you were really cute John, but that seems a little narcissistic," he laughed richly, and John swallowed. The reminder that they were so alike, identical in almost every way, made Karkat's breath catch and his already raging blush deepen.

"I'm gonna make this so good for you," Jake promised, hands coming up to toy with both John's nipples at once. John squeaked and squirmed, and Jake grinned.

"Have I mentioned that I love the little sounds you make?" Jake asked, continuing to rub and pinch at John's nipples, refusing to let up. "Dirk always says he likes that about me, but I never figured out what he was on about until now."

He leaned down and licked at John's mouth, but when John arched up to kiss him he drew back.

"It's not often I get the chance to top," he explained. "Are you as much of a pillow princess as I am? It doesn't really matter, I want to make this good for you."

Leaning down again, he began to kiss his way down John's chest, trailing down to the hem of his pants. There was a very obvious tent in the front of them, and Jake rubbed it a moment before pulling down John's pants and underwear to reveal his erection.

Jake trailed one finger up John's length, making the other boy whimper.

"You want this?" Jake asked in a low voice, and John nodded quickly.

Jake shook his head, hand still hovering over John's dick. "Say you want this."

John licked his lips, uncertain, and glanced over at Karkat. Not really knowing what else to do, Karkat nodded.

"I . . . I want this," John croaked.

Jake grinned. "Good boy."

Behind the chair Karkat heard Dirk groan softly. Apparently the ever-smooth Strider had a few kinks of his own.

Jake's hand encircled John's dick and began to pump slowly. As Karkat watched John pressed his head back into the pillow, hands fisted in the sheets as Jake worked him over. He bit his lip, clearly trying not to get too loud, but Jake glared at him and he stopped trying to hold back his voice. He moaned and sighed, breath hitching as Jake's thumb swiped over his slit, and Karkat couldn't help but give a breathless chitter in answer.

"This is all for your pretty boyfriend, isn't it?" Jake continued after of few moments of uninterrupted stroking. "Look at him."

John blinked a few times and obeyed, making eye contact with Karkat again. Karkat wasn't entirely sure what to make of being called 'pretty,' but John watching him through heavy-lidded eyes while being jacked off by a perfect copy of himself was doing inconvenient things to Karkat's bulge. He pressed his legs together, trying to keep it inside, but he was too aroused to control it. He covered his eyes with one hand, trying to bring himself back under control.

"Do I have to tie you to the chair?" Dirk demanded, startling Karkat enough to make him drop his hand. "This is for you, you know. Don't be such an ungrateful brat. Watch."

Obediently Karkat turned his eyes back to the bed, where Jake was talking to John again.

"Look at how hot you're making him," he taunted, and John shivered and moaned.

"He really wants you," Jake continued. "I think he wants me too. Should we ask him?"

Karkat couldn't hold back the trill that emanated from his throat, and didn't dare put his hand over his mouth to try. He had no idea how serious Dirk was about tying him up, and he badly didn't want to come in his pants.

Jake's hand stilled, and he turned to look at Karkat.

"What should I do now?" he asked, all innocence, as though he honestly couldn't think of a single way to continue.

Dirk nudged Karkat's chair with his foot, making the troll jump.

"Answer the man," Dirk ordered, remaining perfectly still lest he jiggle the video camera.

For once in his brief, miserable life Karkat was at a complete loss for words. "Um . . ." he stammered, voice shaking, "I um . . . uh . . ."

"John, do you have any ideas?" Dirk asked, almost conversationally, like he was asking what movie they should watch.

John swallowed, looking from Karkat to Dirk. "Tell," he rasped, then cleared his throat.

"Tell him to suck me off."

"Wha-what he said," Karkat stuttered, glad he didn't have to say it.

Jake clearly had other ideas. "What did he say? I didn't quite catch it."

"You heard him!" Karkat snapped, putting more strength into his voice than he'd thought possible at the moment. "He told you to suck him off!"

Behind him Dirk laughed softly, and Karkat realized he walked right into that one.

"Yes, sir," said Jake with lowered eyes. He shuffled back a little to get a better angle, then leaned down until his mouth was level with John's dick.

He licked around the head a few times, tasting it like a lollipop or an ice cream cone. John drew several shuddering breaths, helpless moans coming out on each exhale. Jake licked one long stripe, from root to tip, then without warning swallowed the entire thing in one go.

John gave a cry and arched up off the bed. His hands went to Jake's head, gripping hard, and immediately Jake pulled off, frowning.

"Don't pull my hair," he complained petulantly, and John nodded shakily and released him, grabbing onto the sheets instead.

Apparently Jake had taken Karkat's words at face value, and he set to it with a vengeance, no indication of teasing or drawing it out as he bobbed his head up and down on John's crotch. John didn't seem to be complaining, moaning and thrashing for all he was worth, clenching and unclenching his fingers in the sheets. Karkat could see Jake's throat working with each down stroke, taking John's dick as far as it would go and swallowing.

He heard Dirk chuckle behind him, and tried not to think of how much practice it would have taken for Jake to be this good at cock-sucking.

"W-wait," John gasped, pushing at Jake's head suddenly, trying feebly to sit up, "it's, it's too  . . . fast. I'm, I'm, I'm-"

Jake slid his mouth off John with a truly obscene slurping noise. "It's okay," he reassured his double in a soothing voice, "I'll be alright."

"B-but," John protested, forcing one clenched-shut eye open to stare at Jake.

Jake smiled cheerfully up at him, mouth slick and red, face flushed, pupils blown wide.

"I want you to come in my mouth, John."

With a long, drawn-out groan, John gave up. He flopped back against the pillows and let Jake have him, let him hold John's hips against the bed, let him sink all the way down until his nose was buried in John's strange human pubic hairs and work this throat convulsively around the cock lodged in it.

John came with a keening cry, and Karkat felt his nook clench hungrily on nothing and his bulge throb with unfulfilled need as he echoed it with his own high warble.

John lay trembling for a few moments as the aftershocks wore off. Jake sat back on his heels, wiping saliva and human genetic material off his lips and looking very pleased with himself. Then he glanced at Dirk, and for a split second his eyes betrayed him. He looked to Dirk for approval, for praise, looking simultaneously hopeful and lost, and Karkat turned his gaze upward just in time to catch Dirk's answering nod, a gesture which Karkat could only guess meant 'good boy.'

Then Jake turned his attention back to John.

"How was that?" he asked playfully, as though it was John's opinion that mattered and not Dirk's.

John made a little noise in his throat that was definitely not a word, in the affirmative or otherwise, and Jake laughed.

"You taste really good," he remarked, and John whimpered, his eyes blinking open to fix on Jake.

"Would you like to taste?" Jake inquired in a breathy whisper.

John frowned at him, confused, and Jake grinned.

"Would you like me to kiss you, John? Would you like to taste yourself in my mouth?"

"Yes," said John helplessly, closing his eyes and turning away in embarrassment.

Jake bent down again. He crawled up the bed, coming to hover over John, and spared one hand from keeping his balance to tilt John's face up by his chin again, like he had when they were first kissing.

"Tell me you want to taste yourself in my mouth," he ordered. "Say it, just like that."

"I - I want to taste myself - in your mouth," John repeated, and was rewarded immediately when Jake plunged his tongue between John's parted lips, kissing him hungry and desperate, devouring him.

"You didn't . . ." John trailed off when Jake let him up for air, gesturing shyly at the tent in Jake's shorts, now sporting a small wet patch.

"Come?" Jake asked casually, as though completely unconcerned with his own pleasure. "No. Would you like to return the favor?"

John's face colored, but he didn't break eye contact.

"Would you like to suck me off, John?"

John looked at Karkat, and the troll fought the urge to glance up at Dirk. The wasn't the time to be asking the human for help, his matesprit needed  _him._

He nodded.

"Sure," said John, nodding firmly up at Jake.

Jake gave the bed a cursory looking, eyes sweeping from one end to the other, then back to John. Finally he seemed to come to a decision.

"Get on the floor," he instructed, "but angle yourself this way a little. I want them to be able to see everything."

John did as he was told, kneeling at Jake's feet at a slight angle to the bed, showing part of his profile to Karkat, and the camera. Jake spread his legs, one foot planted on the floor and one dangling in midair as his thigh rested partially on the bed. As John watched he unzipped his shorts and pulled them down along with his underwear, letting his stiff cock spring free.

"Can I use your hair," Jake asked gently, "or do you not like it?"

John hesitated, then, "No, it's fine."

Jake grinned. "Excellent."

Leaning on the bed with one arm to support his awkward position, Jake's other hand began to pet John's dark hair. For a moment nothing happened, John just letting Jake play with the soft strands, but then Jake's grip tightened slightly, and he steered John's face toward his crotch.

Like Jake, John started off slow and curious. Only having experience with a troll bulge, he licked cautiously at Jake's dick, getting used to the taste. After a few moments he fastened his lips around just the head and began to suckle.

"Yeah," Jake sighed, eyes drifting closed, "just like that."

Encouraged, John began to edge his way down, taking more and more of Jake's dick into his mouth as he went. Only when he made a slight gagging noise that Karkat recognized as the warning that he'd taken as much as he could safely did Jake start talking again.

"Have you done this to him before? Don't answer that," he clarified when John began to pull his mouth away.

"I wonder what he's thinking about," Jake mused as John began to suck again, nodding at Karkat.

"Are you thinking about him doing this to you?" he asked, eyes heavy lidded. "Or maybe me doing it?"

John took Jake all the way in again and his throat convulsed, making Jake gasp. "What about both of us?" he continued resolutely, holding Karkat's gaze.

"He could suck on your bulge while I eat your nook."

Karkat warbled in reply and reached for the hem of his pants, intent of freeing his wriggling bulge.

"Grip the chair," Dirk commanded, and Karkat looked up at him, confused.

Dirk, however, was looking at Jake. "Don't make me tell you again." 

Karkat didn't know what the human would do if Karkat made him repeat himself, but he wasn't willing to find out. Reluctantly he reached behind himself and gripped the back of the chair.

"Or we could do it another way," Jake piped up as though to distract him. "You could sit in my lap and ride my dick, while I play with your grub legs and John sucks you. Would you like that? I think you would."

Karkat warbled his agreement, unable to do anything else. His nook was achingly empty and his bulge was chafing against the fabric of his underwear, but he didn't dare do anything about it.

"Plans for another day," Jake sighed, the hand in John's hair directing him to take his twin to the root again.

"Right now, I just want you to watch while you boyfriend makes me come."

John made a little humming noise around Jake's dick and curled his fingers against the other boy's thigh. Jake loosened his grip, and John pulled his slick mouth away.

"I don't think I can swallow it all," he confessed. "With Karkat there's always too much. We've never-"

"It's okay," Jake cut him off, grip on John's hair tightening again. "Just stay still, alright?"

John nodded, and Jake readjusted his position so he could balance without the use of his arm. His hand now free, he began to stroke himself quickly, dick still aimed at John's face.

"Close your eyes and open your mouth," he instructed breathlessly.

Watching a human ejaculate was always a bit surreal for Karkat. The thin ropes of white just looked wrong when he was expecting a vibrantly colored flood, and the way it stuck to whatever it landed on instead of dripping off like slurry off the sides of a bucket. The exception, however, seemed to be watching Jake come on John's face. The sticky white goo splattered across his matesprit's face made him look so fuck-drunk, so satisfyingly debauched that he couldn't have looked more hopelessly, pitiably sexy if his feeble human think-pan could have comprehended how it was possible to be pitiful and sexy at the same time.

With one last helpless trill, Karkat came in his pants.

He slumped back against the chair, too sated to worry about the uncomfortable pooling of fluid beneath his ass or the way it was starting to trickle down his legs. His eyes had fallen closed, but he heard the click and beep of the video camera being turned off above him, and the sounds of shifting fabric and then footsteps from the direction of the bed. There was a bump of someone being pushed up against the wall behind him, and then he felt rather than heard someone kneeling in front of him.

He opened his eyes to find John sitting in front of his chair, bits of white genetic material clinging to the corners of his face but most of it gone, and a concerned expression clouding his blue eyes.

"Karkat?" he asked softly. "Are you, okay?"

"Yeah," Karkat assured him, trying to calm his racing blood pusher as he sat up straighter in the chair. He winced at the resulting squelch, but John just giggled.

"So," he asked with his usual bizarre enthusiasm, "success?"

"I would certainly hope you think this was a success Egbert, considering that all involved parties got off. Well, except-"

He glanced over his shoulder, to see Dirk pressing Jake into the wall and grinding his clothed dick hard against his matesprit's naked ass.

"I stand corrected, everyone involved seems to have gotten off on this to at least some degree. So yes, I would call this little adventure in sexual deviance a success."

"But I mean, was it what you wanted?" John inquired earnestly, looking up at Karkat like his answer was the only thing that mattered in the world.

"Um, yeah," Karkat answered, after a moment's hesitation. "Look, I know that this particular defect of my concupiscent drive is considered particularly devious among your species, and I just wanted to say . . . thanks. For putting up with me."

Before he could embarrass himself any further however, John leaned forward and kissed him, hard, and without leaving him room to protest. His matesprit tasted a little of salty human slurry, but mostly of himself, and pity, and everything red and wonderful, and Karkat couldn't remember enjoying a kiss this much.

"I love putting up with you!" John announced breathlessly when he pulled his mouth away. "Wait, no, that's not what I meant. I mean, it is what I meant, but that was a really shitty way to say 'I love you,' and-"

"Yeah yeah," Karkat cut him off impatiently, "your hilarious inability to articulate your own stunted feelings aside, I pity the fuck out of you too asshole."

John giggled, then rubbed their noses together in what Karkat had come to understand was another (weird) form of human kissing.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," he announced, "because I really did too. And I kind of like that idea of . . . what Jake was talking about earlier."

"You humans are going to fucking kill me," Karkat grumbled, as his think-pan helpfully supplied the image of himself sandwiched between John and Jake, one fucking his nook and the other sucking his bulge.

"Probably," John concluded cheerfully, then kissed him again, slow and sweet and full of intent.

Karkat was almost okay with that.


End file.
